“Lessons from a Bracelet”

Surrounded by the beauty of the Palm Springs area, safe within an understanding compassion, a group of moms attended a retreat sponsored by Umbrella Ministries. Each mom had come to be encouraged, to remember, and to heal. Each mom had known the death of a child. Much happened during the weekend, but one of the highlights was each mom creating a silver bracelet that bore the name of her child. The letters for Tonia Joy’s name awaited me in a little plastic bag, and from large trays of small silver charms and beads, freshwater pearls, and brightly colored cut stones, I chose what I wanted to complete a beautiful bracelet in her memory. I wear the bracelet so that I can easily read her name. I quickly realized that if I wanted to share the joy of what I was privileged to create, the one with whom I wanted to share, had to stand very closely beside me, be still, and look carefully.

Our lives are often burdened with tragedies, concerns, and frustrations. God told us we could expect such things, and He promised us His help to walk through them. One of God’s greatest tools of encouragement though is found in the people that God surrounds our lives with. But the encourager cannot encourage from a distance. She must stand closely beside the one who is burdened. And, she must be still. Life is a "juggling act" for most of us with our attempts to accomplish all the demands and responsibilities that are ours. We can’t "be still" for everyone, and we can’t "be still" for even one person all the time, but we can find the balance God wants to give as we allow our life to interact with the life of another. Sometimes though we may not understand the struggle of another. That’s why we need to look closely as we listen and as we hear not only the words of another, but also the heart. My story is different from the stories of many of the moms who went to the retreat in Palm Springs. Some have experienced their loss in heart-wrenching circumstances that have spanned years or evoked guilt, as well as pain. Some have suddenly lost a child whose life pulsated with delight and expectation. But I have a "reference point," and I can look closely and see the heart of the mom. When we find our own reference points with another, we can build bridges and we can care.

Bridges go two ways though, and I may be the one who desperately wants to be cared for. If I truly want to receive from another, I must be willing to start walking toward that other person, or at least, I must be willing to open the gate on my side of the bridge. "Healthy healing" may take months or years, or even decades, but it is accomplished best when I am willing to open myself to not only God, but also to the others He has placed in my life. Ultimately, God is my source of healing and encouragement, so I cannot attempt to run away or hide from Him. In the stillness, He will meet me, and He will reveal the richness of His promises and His principles. But a fierce determination to make everything work with just you and God, can shut out the embrace, the encouragement, and even the truth, God wants to give you through another person.

My heart goes out to those of you who read this and you remember the death of your own child. I grieve for you, but I pray for you even as I send this, that your hope would be enlarged, that the loving arms of your Father would embrace you, and that you would know the comfort God brings through others.

Much love,
Bev Leckie

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